On this we can agree...

On the campaign trail recently, John McCain has been advertising a comment Barack Obama made about the virtue of “spreading the wealth around.” It goes without saying that guys like Joe the Plumber understand that spreading the wealth around is a big no-no. It reeks of Socialism, which is just simply a bad word and should never be uttered unless accompanied by an extremely derogatory adjective of some kind. It follows simple logic therefore that Barack Obama is a Socialist and therefore not someone we can have in the White House.

Senator Obama, meanwhile, has shot back saying that he’s only raising taxes on the wealthy according to the levels they were at in the 90’s, that John McCain opposed George Bush’s tax cuts in 2000, and that McCain’s current strategy is not to help Joe the Plumber but to help Joe the Hedge Fund Manager. Which makes me give a big sigh of relief: at least we can all agree that “Joe” is the most average of all Americans regardless of his occupation. This, I feel, is the most American of all notions: that all men are created equal and that the most equal of all of them are guys named Joe. There shall be no Ahmeds, Juans, or Xinhous (that’s a common Chinese name by the way) representing middle America, that’s just common sense.

But as for this Socialist thing, we all probably know by now that Jesus was a community organizer and Pontius Pilate was a governor. We also know that Barack Obama was a community organizer and Sarah Palin is a governor who spent campaign money (from Joe the plumber/hedgefund manager/teacher/firefighter/small business owner’s taxes) to buy fancy clothes for her family. Furthermore what we all probably suspect is that Jesus was also a Socialist or, at least, that he thought when you spread the wealth around it’s good for everybody. He once advised a very wealthy man to sell all that he had and give it to the poor (Matthew 19:21) after all. Sounds pretty Socialist to me. And while I guess I can’t call Jesus “un-Christian,” I sure as hell can call him “un-American.”

There you have it: Barack Obama and Jesus are both too un-American to be president. I think we all suspected this from the beginning anyway—I mean, how many honest, hardworking, unlicensed, back-tax owing plumbers named “Barack” do you know? And if you did, would you even trust him to unclog your toilet? Of course not; you’d tell Barack to call his boss and send Joe on over, because that’s what this country’s all about: having a name you can trust.

That's why I say, "Obama for Jesus, not president!"